Elite Guard Escapee: rules for living with the Elite Guard
by Wheeliefan101
Summary: So, you're a human caught by Twirl (we really need to tell her humans are NOT pets), stuck on the Elite guard ship, with absolutley NO idea what to do? Well guess what! I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. I've made a book of rules to help you survive and...not die. Follow them and you should have a (mostly) smooth ride. (warning: results may vary. don't blame me)
1. Chapter 1

**Ha ha! I've been bit by the rule bug and decided to unleash a tidal wave of new fanfiction rules! Mwhahaha! cower in fear! (oh, I don't own tfs or intend this for offense either) Enjoy! ^=^ **

**#1 DO NOT BITE CYBERTRONIANS**  
Twirl had captured me  
And took me to her motherboar—I mean ship  
She showed her off to all her robot friends  
But she held me WAY. TOO. TIGHT!  
I tried telling her that, but would she listen?  
Noooooooooo  
So I tried to bite her finger to get the message across  
MAJOR TOOTHACHE!

**#2 YOU CAN'T SPIT ACID**  
Twirl dropped me  
So I ran  
RAN LIKE THERE WAS NO TOMMOROW!  
I accidently bumped into another one of the those robots  
They yelled, "AGH! IT'S ONE OF THOSE ORGANICS THAT SPIT ACID!"  
To which I replied, "I can? Cool!"  
I spat on the ground  
My salvia was not acidic  
I was majorly disappointed  
That liar!

**#3 USE YOUR SMALL SIZE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE**  
That lying robot pulled an alarm  
Next thing I know, all these other Cybertronians are trying to catch me (without actually touching me)  
I was only able to avoid them by using my small size  
But I got cocky  
And two robots caught me  
Why, cruel fate, why?

**#4 BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY AROUND THE CYBERTRONIANS**  
Like I said before, two robots had caught me  
One was orange, the other was blue  
The blue one was holding me  
I banged on his hands and yelled, "LET ME GO!"  
He took me seriously  
And dropped me from sixty feet  
PAIN  
Lots and lots of pain!  
The orange was all like, "Uh-oh, brother. I think the organic being hurt."  
I was all like, "You don't say?"  
Then this big Cybertronian came by  
The two robots called him "Ultra magnus sir"  
Ultra magnus sir told them they were going to have to dispose of me  
So I was all, "NO! NO! I WANT TO LIVE! I'M AN AMERICAN! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"  
The two robots begged that the could keep me  
They promised they would watch me  
Ultra magnus sir agreed  
So they're my, like, gurdians?

What have I gotten myself into?!

**#5 ULTRA MAGNUS' HAMMER IS NOT A TOY**  
I was REALLY bored  
And Ultra magnus just "happened" to leave the Magnus hammer where I could get my hands on it  
Well, it was on the table about 750,000 feet in the air but a small feat for a squierrel like me!  
Once I had retrived it (and figured out how to carry it without it squishing me like a bug) I ran around the ship yelling, "It's hammer time!"  
It was all good fun  
...until Ultra magnus caught me  
Needless to say, he was not happy  
He said he'd let me off with a warning this time but next time I'd get thrown in the brig

What the heck is a brig?

**#6 NO DOING SOMETHING STUPID JUST TO FIND OUT WHAT A BRIG IS**  
What?  
Don't look at me like that!  
I know you want to find out too!  
You can't deny it!  
Anyway...  
I rigged a bucket of soy sauce to fall over the next guy who came through the ships' doors  
I THOUGHT it would be my guardians (Jetfire and Jetstorm) since they were returning from a mission  
They would, of course, laugh and take it good naturally but some other guy whould throw me in "the brig"  
Unfortunately, it was NOT my guardians  
It was this bot with a chin almost as big as his ego, named Sentinal Prime  
As if he didn't ALREADY have enough to hate about organics  
Sentinal chased me all around the ship, yelling somethings I'm pretty sure that would get me in trouble if I ever repeated them  
UM (Ultra magnus) threw me in the brig  
It was dark  
It was also cold  
I freaked out when something touched my hand  
…and no one else was in there...

**#7 YOU CAN NOT OUTRUN BLURR**  
It was Thundercracker's fault!  
He dared me to do it!  
What was I doing with a Decepticon, you ask?  
Well, it's simple  
He was a prisoner  
And I got bored  
So I talked to him  
He got me SO mad, saying he was SO superior  
It just...got to me, ya know?  
Anyway, I boasted that I could outrun Blurr  
It wasn't the BOASTING that was the problem  
It was the LIVING UP TO that boasting  
Blurr happily agreed to it  
I think he enjoys watching me suffer  
Needless to say, I lost  
I think my legs stretched about a foot more  
Halfway through the race, I fell down  
I stayed there until Blurr won and ran circles around me  
He kept doing that until he noticed I wasn't moving  
Like, AT ALL  
He experimently poked me  
I still didn't move  
Blurr had to rush me to Red alert  
Dang, that mech is FAST

**#8 THERE ARE SOMETHINGS YOU SHOULD JUST KEEP TO YOURSELF**  
While pondering the difficult questions of life (AKA doing my homework), I thought a very interesting thought  
It had to do with my guardians so I told them  
I asked, "Hey, since Wheeljack made you guys, doesn't that mean he's like your father?"  
Unfortunately, Wheeljack was in there too  
They didn't move  
AT ALL  
I went crying to Red alert that I had broken them  
She fixed them and explained to me that they had glitched  
Correction:  
_I_ had glitched them  
Heh heh  
Whoops?

**#9 DON'T EVEN JOKE THAT YOU HAVE ANY ASSOCIATION WITH THE DECEPTICONS**  
The twins and I were chatting  
Just hanging out  
It was all cool until I joked that the Decepticons were my parents (which they AREN'T!)  
My guardians-knowing I was joking-laughed with me  
Cliffjumper, who had just walked in, didn't know  
He threw me in the brig and then interrogated me  
It was a JOKE!

**#10 YOU CAN'T MAKE PERCEPTOR CRACK**  
While transporting some boxes of bolts to Warpath (well, the twins were transporting it, I was just sitting on the box :3), I met Preceptor  
He told us, very dully, where Warpath was  
I, thinking he was bored, tried to liven up his day  
By telling a joke  
After I told him the joke, he just stared at me  
And stared at me  
And stared at me  
The twins finally moved along, leaving me in shock  
Who doesn't like the chicken and the road joke?!  
Anyway, when we got to Warpath, the big red bot could tell that I was upset  
So I told him Perceptor hadn't laughed at my joke  
Warpath told me not to take it personally  
He said that Percy had deleted his emotions

What?  
Anwho, I decided to try and make Percy crack  
I tried EVERYTHING!  
NOTHING worked  
Like, AT ALL  
I finally collapsed from exhaustion  
And the twins laughed at me -_-

**Phew! Done! Oh, I will be accepting ideas for these and any other new rule fanfics you see **

**R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wheeliefan101: I'M ALIVE! Just had major writer's block XP**

**Thank you to the people who reviewed and the people who gave suggestions! I don't know where'd I'd be without you! (probably still banging my head on the desk X])**

**Enjoy!~**

**#11 DO NOT ARGUE WITH THE CYBERTRONIAN NINJAS**  
Okay, so I found out that Jazz-the guy who is the most mellow and laid back person ever  
I, mean seriously, I locked him in a room with SP (Sentinel Prime), dropped tarter sauce on him, and even played Barney's I love you song on continuous loop  
For nine hours!  
But Jazz wasn't mad, nope  
Well, Sentinel was  
He tried to cut me into little itty bitty pieces with his shield and then I-  
I'm getting off topic  
As I was saying, I found Jazz was actually a Cybertronian Ninja taught by some old dead dude (kinda freaky)  
But then, one day, I looked up ninja  
And I was shocked by what I saw  
I went up to Jazz shortly afterward and said, "Jazz, you're a cyber-ninja, right?"  
"Mh-hm."  
"And ninja means Japanese Assassin."  
"Your point?"  
I then gave him the squinty eyed stare  
"You don't speak Japanese."  
"Desu anata sõ tashika?"  
And I was all like:  
What the... O_O  
I then awoke in the med-bay  
The twins told me I had "glitched"  
Red alert told me I had fainted  
...who knew Jazz could speak Japanese?!

**#12 DON'T PAINT SENTINEL RED AND PROCEED TO CALL HIM "THE RED BULL"**  
Lemme just tell ya right here and now, when ol' Senty gets pranked, he's mad like nobody's business  
Put some horns on him and BAM!  
He's a bull!  
Now, I don't now much about Red Bull (except it's a drink Jetfire/Jetstorm won't let me have) but I DO know there's a bull  
And it's red  
I say that's about enough knowledge!  
Anyway, while Sentinel was in the decontamination rooms (he goes a lot in there now. Something about "infested acid-spewing organic"), I switched the water to red paint  
Oh, and while he was blinded by the paint, I stuck a pair of horns on him  
I raced out of there quicker than a jackrabbit!  
Senty was right behind me  
When all the bots stopped what they were doing to stare at me, I pointed behind me and yelled, "LOOK! IT'S THE RED BULL!"  
I got sent to the brig  
And they made me wash off Sentinel  
Personally, I think red is his color  
Describes his "explosive" personality

**#13 NEVER MAKE FUN OF SENTINEL'S CHIN (Autobotgirl2234)**  
Yes, it's huge  
No, you should not make fun of it  
Senty was already mad at me  
I didn't care  
I started making fun of it behind his back  
But then I did it to his face  
After that, Sentinel chase me around with his blade, trying to hack me into itty bitty little bite-sized organic pieces

**#14 NEVER PRETEND YOU'RE ASLEEP (Tallest mint)**  
Living in a place that's basically the military?  
It's gonna come back to bite ya  
EVERY. TIME.  
Anyway, I was sleeping till, like, 9:30 because it was a weekend  
My guardians thought something was wrong with me because I'm usually up by 6  
So of course they had to go get the evil mastermind himself, SENTINEL PRIME  
~DUN DUN DUNNNN!~  
Senty tried ordering me to wake up  
Would I listen to a alien robot who was way taller than me and could probably squish me if I didn't do what he wanted me to do?  
Heck, no!  
He was still Sentinel!  
Unfortunately, all his swearing and threatening had woken me up  
But I wasn't going to GET UP because I do not listen to people who try to wake me up at way-too-early in the morning!  
Unfortunately, I forgot one thing  
He was from an advanced alien civilization, so he could TELL when I was awake  
Which meant he KNEW I was just ignoring him  
Sentinel doesn't like people ignoring him  
You know what he did?!  
I cannot BELIEVE what he did!  
HE DUMPED ME OF THE SLAGGING SHIP!  
I was dadgum lucky my guardians could fly

**#14 NEVER PUT A BUNCH OF HOT SAUCE IN SENTINEL'S ENERGON NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE DESERVES IT (Tallest mint)**  
And believe me, he DESRVED it  
SERIOUSLY, WHO DUMPS SOMEBODY OFF THEIR SLAGGING SHIP JUST TO WAKE THEM UP?!  
Er, anyway, after the ship incident (and due to my random boredness) I ninja-followed Sentinel everywhere, writing down every thing he did in a journal  
Now don't look at me like that!  
It wasn't stalking, it was—  
Fine, it was stalking  
Anyway, what I learned from that was Sentinel got his afternoon energon at exactly 15:00 (I don't HAVE to use military time, it just sounds more professional)  
Also, the Jettwins have to leave for their fighting practice at 14:55  
Since the walk from the twins quarters to the energon room was about a three minute walk, I would have exactly two minutes to pull this off  
I only needed one  
But, there was a flaw in the plan  
Getting BACK  
You see, as soon as Senty's mouth went on fire, he suspected something was afoot and immediately began looking for me (am I really getting THAT obvious?)  
Yeah and because I hadn't fully developed the part of what happened after Sentinel ate the hot sauce (I only had "do evil laugh"), ol' Senty caught me  
More brig time

**#15 NEVER TELL SOMEONE HELP YOU KILL A SPIDER WHEN IT'S STILL ON YOU (Tallest mint)**  
I was innocently taking a nap, dreaming of ways to convince Senty to go in a vat of acid, when I felt this tickling sensation  
Thinking it was just one of my guardians playing around, I ignored it  
It persisted, so I murmured, "Jetfire, Jetstorm, stop it."  
"We not be doing anything. We be over here, Miss May."  
Never have I heard more horrifying words in my life  
I bolted upright and looked for whatever the heck was tickling me so fast I was surprised I didn't get whiplash  
To my horror, my worst nightmare was confirmed  
I HATED things crawling on me  
I'm pretty sure my screech was heard on Cybertron, tooe  
My guardians rushed over, immediately  
"What's wrong, Miss May?!"  
"SPIDER! SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER! GET IT OFF!"  
Insert twins exchanging glances  
"I...not be understanding, Miss May. What being wrong with spider?"  
"What can little organic do to big organic?"  
"IT CAN FEAST ON MY SKIN AND TURN ME INTO THE NEXT SLAGGING SPIDER-MAN, THAT'S WHAT! NOW KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!"  
...I didn't think they'd take me literally  
Trip to the med-bay  
Red alert now knows me by name

**#16 NEVER TEASE SENTINEL ABOUT BLACK ARCHNIA (Tallest mint)**  
You're never gonna believe this but...THERE USED TO BE A FEMME INTO SENTINEL!  
And she wasn't paid to be!  
I know, shocking, right?  
Well, she did later get turned into a hideous mutated half organic spider/half robot that joined the Decepticons so that explains a lot  
I couldn't let this go and just ignore it!  
Of COURSE I had to tease him about it!  
And of COURSE he threw his shield at me like he was the next Captain America!

**#17 NEVER ****_EVER_**** TRY TO TICKLE LONG ARM (Tallest mint)**  
At the time I did not know he was half Decepticon, JUST SAYING!  
So I was NOT fraternizing with the enemy, Cliffjumper  
Anyway, I wanted to find out if Cybertronian skin was sensitive  
Long arm just happened to be my random lucky target of the day  
I tried tickling him  
Did NOT work  
And Long arm wasn't too happy 'bout it  
Unfortunately for me, the Shockwave half of him came up with a devious plan for torture: TICKLING  
How the heck did he know my weakness?!  
Anyway, it was like, WAY worse because I couldn't get away from him  
There's a REASON he's called "Long arm"  
...I seriously did not know that

**#18 DON'T ASK SENTINEL TO COME UP WITH A NAME FOR YOU**  
So, I learned that when ol' Senty used to teach newbies, he came up with their names: (E.G.: Wasp, Blurr, Long arm)  
The names were so cool!  
And my name is so not cool...  
Just plain old May...  
So I asked Sentinel to come up with a Cybertronian name for me!  
...y'know, just for future refrence, if you're gonna ask someone to name you, make sure it's somebody who DOESN'T hate you  
He called me...Backfire...  
That wouldn't be too bad if it hadn't caught and everyone else started calling me that  
Gosh, sometimes I hate these bots -_-

**#19 DON'T SING "KISS THE GIRL" WHEN RED ALERT AND HOT SHOT ARE CLOSE TOGETHER**  
Come on!  
It's SOOOOOO obvious they're into each other!  
So obvious it hurts!  
And them not being willing to admit it makes it hurt all the more  
Hot shot flicked me when I suggested they should date (literally FLICKED me across the room)  
Red alert ignored me  
IGNORED  
ME!  
You don't just ignore me!  
This crime could not go unpunished  
So, I was in the med-bay-I decided to pick a fight with Ironhide  
NOT one of my brighter ideas since he's bigger than me and is basically made of indestructible steel  
But anyway, Hot shot was in the med-bay also  
Fried some cicrcuits or somethin...  
Red alert currently was attending to him  
She had to lean in close to work on the detail  
Hot shot was complaining about his "personal space"  
I think it was pretty obvious what was going on here...  
Red alert wanted to cuddle but Hot shot was too shy to!  
So of COURSE I had to help them along!  
"~Sha la la la la, my oh my, the boy's too shy! He ain't gonna kiss the girl! Sha la la la la la, ain't that sad? Ain't it shame, too bad! You gonna, miss the girl!~"  
Hot shot was looking at me with this horrified look of horror while Red alert was giving me this "You will not live to see the daylight" kinda look  
So I kept singing!  
"~Sha la la la la la, don't be scared, the mood's prepared, go on and kiss the girl!~"  
I should've taken a hint when Red's optic started twitching but I didn't so...  
"~Don't stop now, don't try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the girl! Sha la la la la, float along, listen to the song, the song say kiss the girl! Sha la la la la, music play, do what the music say, you wanna kiss the girl! You've gotta, kiss the girl. Why don't you, kiss the girl? You gotta kiss the girl, go on and kiss the gi-YEEE-OW!"  
That sudden improvisation was curtosey of Red alert branding me with her wielder  
Dang, that woman can be MEAN and NASTY when she wants to be!  
I don't get what Hot shot sees in her...

**#20 DON'T CALL SENTINEL PRIME NAMES BEHIND HIS BACK *coughSentycough***  
Heh heh...  
Guess what Sentinel found out about  
That's right  
These previous rules  
He wasn't too happy about it  
So unhappy, he made me do twenty transform-ups  
"Uh, Prime, sir?" (He now makes me call him that)  
"Yes?"  
"I can't DO transform-ups."  
"Why?! Too lazy?! I will not tolerate lazy here!"  
"No...it's because I'm not a transformer."  
"Oh. Right..."  
When that didn't work, he made do seventy sit ups  
SEVENTY!  
Gosh, I hate push-ups!  
I think he knows that  
...and he enjoys it...

**R&R! Suggestions loved! Flames will be thrown at Sentinel! (dang..now I almost WISH I would get flames...)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Guess what! I'm ****_BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-_*****runs out of air and falls over* X_X**

**Dang it! I died again! D:**

**Oh well**

**Enjoy the story!~**

* * *

**#21 NEVER SUGGEST THAT JETFIRE AND JETSTORM ARE RED ALERT AND PERCEPTOR'S SONS (IBrokeThe4thWall)**  
One day, while the twins were at training-and while I was bored (where the REAL trouble started)-I saw Perceptor and Red alert cross paths  
The strange thing?  
They didn't make eye contact!  
Now, normal people wouldn't notice the significance but I did!  
IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT RED ALERT AND PERCEPTOR HAD ONCE BEEN MARRIED, HAD CHILDREN, AND THEN GOT DIVORCED!  
But WHO were their kids?  
"Hello, Miss May! We being back from training!"  
There was my answer  
JETFIRE AND JETSTORM!  
I couldn't believe it  
But it all made sense!  
Why else would Perceptor have deleted his emotions other than to cover it up?!  
After more careful consideration, I realized a horrifying tragedy:  
RED ALERT WAS CHEATING ON HOT SHOT!  
Let me tell you, I marched right up to her med-bay and yelled, "WOMAN, *WHAT* IS YOUR PROBLEM?! CHEATING ON HOT SHOT BY MARRYING PERCEPTOR AND HAVING JETFIRE AND JETSTORM?!"  
The twins had followed me  
They glitched again  
Red alert glared at me  
Ultra magnus just stared  
Yeah *cough*  
Ultra magnus was there  
In my defense, I did not know that at the time!  
But I still got put in the brig  
I hate the brig...

**#22 NEVER MAKE SENTINEL PRIME WATCH CARTOONS (Autobotgirl2234)**  
HOW DARE HE?!  
HOW  
DARE  
HE?!  
He said TMNT stinks! D=  
HE SHALL DIE FOR HIS TREASON!  
How do I know he doesn't like it?  
Well, you see, after my many futile attempts to get him to watch cartoons, I eventually tied him down to a berth and MADE him watch cartoons  
After Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was done, I was all like, "Didn't you LOOOOVE it? 83"  
He was all like, "No, it stinks."  
Then I was all like, "DIE YOU TRAITOR! D:{"  
I had him tied on the berth so I had him RIGHT were I wanted him  
...until Cliffjumper came in  
I swear that boy is OBSSESED with traitors...  
Er, anyway, he came in, saw Sentinel tied to a berth, saw me yelling "DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!" while uselessly kicking his armor, and he put two and two together and got:  
May=traitor!  
I was put in the stockades  
...for 5 seconds before my guardians got me  
But 5 seconds was enough D8

**#23 NEVER SHOW THE BOTS "CHUCKY 5" AND KEEP SAYING "I'M YOUR FRIEND TO THE END" (tallest mint)**  
After my five seconds of horror in the stockades, I wanted to beef up my horror endurance  
So I searched the internet for a random horror movie and came up with "Chucky 5"  
The twins, of course, were estatic to learn about more Earth culture  
Lousy guardians...  
You're supposed to PROTECT me from my stupidness!  
Anyway, we started up the movie  
I handled the popcorn and soda/energon  
Of course, the twins INSISTED we turned off the lights  
I kept screamimg through the entire movie  
Sentinel finally came into see what all the shrieking was about  
About two minutes later, there were TWO screams  
The twins finally turned on the lights and saw me and Sentinel, clinging to each other  
Me and Prime exchanged glances  
Then quickly got as far away as possible from each other  
Jetfire/Jetstorm laughed it up as me and blue boy blushed  
Days later, one line kept repeating in my head  
The stupid thing wouldn't go away and it just kept playing and playing and playing and playing and playing and playing and playing and playing and then Sentinel came in  
He demanded to know what was going on  
I turned towards him with a crazy look in my eye from the repeating line and finally said it out loud, "I'm your friend to the end."  
What happened next I was NOT expecting  
He shrieked like a girl and raced out of there faster then...something really fast...  
After that, the Elite Guard decided it was best I didn't watch anymore horror movies

**#24 NEVER GO PRANKING WITH THE JETTWINS (Autobotgirl2234)**  
Sentinel deserved what he was getting for dissing TMNT  
I somehow tricked my unwitting acomplices (the twins, who else?) into helping me  
Mwhahahahaha!  
Anyway, Jetstorm took the left side of the base and I took the right side  
Jetfire was our lookout and he was also our alibi  
Why would Jetstorm do anything without his brother?  
Cuz he was smart and knew people would consider that, that's why! }:D  
But...things took a turn for the worse  
After only doing _2_ pranks Jetstorm completed 31  
By the time I was up to ten, Jetfire was helping his brother and they got over a hundred  
After #694, I just sat back and observed in awe  
Little did I know I was soon going to be in on their pranking spree...  
Monday, I woke up with green hair  
At first, I was going to blame it on Sentinel, but then I heard two snickers...  
At breakfast, I poured out my Coco puffs, ONLY TO FIND EYEBALLS!  
Fake ones, of course  
But still  
Then there was the incident with the training...  
The twins were training (and I had followed them to see if they were doing anything suspcious) and their instructor-Warpath-fired his gun  
But lasers didn't come out  
HIGH-GRADE did  
What is high-grade?  
It's the Cybertronian equivalent to alcohol  
But, apparently, Warpath is allergic to high-grade  
He had a severe reaction  
Red alert glared at me  
Why ME?!  
This was the ONE time I didn't do anything! D=  
After that incident, the pranking sprees "mysteriously" stopped

**#25 WHEN SENTINEL IS IN THE MED-BAY, DON'T GO AROUND SINGING "DING-DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD!" (tallest mint)**  
That literally may have been one of the happiest moments in my life, hearing that wonderful noise  
"Sentinel Prime being in the med-bay, Miss May."  
That was Jetfire, replying to my "Hey, where's Sir Big-chin?"  
Seriously, I heard the "hallejueh!" music in the background  
He had apparently broken one of his legs in training  
I officially love whoever the heck his teacher is...  
Where were we?  
Oh yeah  
After hearing the news, I squealed happily and did a few handsprings  
Well, tried to  
It was more of a jump-and-then-crash-into-the-floor kind of thing  
But after that, I skipped around, singing very loudly, "~DING-DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD!~"  
Unfortunately, I skipped right past the med-bay  
Right past Sentinel  
Who heard me  
And knew I was singing about him  
Red alert said she had never seen a patient recover so fast

**#26 IRONHIDE IS NOT CAPTAIN AMERICA**  
Hello!  
Ironhide turns into an indestructible metal, Captain America has an indestructible shield!  
Also, they both have red!  
But, apparently, Ironhide didn't agree  
I could tell by the way he swore at me  
Jetfire/Jetstorm: We be thinking you be watching too much Avengers  
Me: Yeah, yeah, whatever :P

**#27 HE'S NOT IRON MAN EITHER**  
Yeah, okay, seriously, I just couldn't help myself!  
IronHIDE  
IronMAN  
THEY'RE PRACTICALLY THE SAME!  
But, once again, Ironmeanie didn't agree  
Well...at least now I know more words! :D

**#28 DON'T EVEN ****_THINK_**** OF CALLING ULTRA MAGNUS THOR**  
UM has a hammer  
So does Thor!  
AM I SERIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICES THESE THINGS?!  
But, while I was being dragged back to the twins' room by my guardians, I saw UM and yelled, "SAVE ME, THOR! SAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEE!"  
I apparently glitched him :I  
I did NOT know I could do that...

**#29 ALSO, SP ISN'T HULK**  
Sentinel was transporting me to the brig  
Because I had glitched their leader and all...  
But ol' Primey was being WAY more rough then he had to be  
So I shouted, "Let me go, Hulk!"  
And he replied, "I am NOT some fictional monster!"  
I was all like, "You're big, you have brutish strength and YOU LOOK LIKE HIM!"  
"You take that back, underling!"  
"YOU'RE RIGHT! I'M SORRY, HULK, FOR CALLING YOU UGLY!"  
I got extra time in the brig after that...  
*pout*

**#30 RODIMUS ISN'T HAWK EYE ****_OR_**** CUPID**  
I was out of the brig  
I was FREEEEEEEEEEEE!  
And I was watching Team Athena train  
To see if Hot shot left any subtle hints that he was into Red alert so I would have evidence ;)  
And guess who I saw  
RODIMUS PRIME!  
And he had a bow and arrow!  
So of COURSE he was like Hawk Eye!  
I told him this (well, more like yelled it from across the room)  
He fired an arrow  
It hit me...  
It hurt  
A lot  
And then of COURSE the Jettwins came in at that moment and called RP "Cupid"  
We were both suspended from the training room  
Jettwins: See? This be proving you be watching too much Avengers!  
Me: Yeah, and you two read too many romance novels  
Jettwins: 0/0

* * *

**Jetstrom: Hello, fellow fans!**

**Jetfire: Since Miss 101 still being in the med-bay...**

**Jetstorm: ...With Miss Red alert trying to start her human heart... **

**Both: WE ARE GOING TO BE ASKING FOR THE REVIEWS!**

**Jetfire: Please be reviewing this story?**

**Jetstorm: Yes, please being pretty?**

**Both: *impossibly cute optics***


End file.
